Britt's Aesthetic Journal

Aging Your Way

As a kid, I would roll my eyes at my mother’s attempts to look young. You know how when you’re a kid, you want your mom to look like all the other moms, because being different in any way is just so uncomfortable. But my mom didn’t look like the other moms, she dressed cooler, and let’s just say, I was not-so-lucky to come of age when the term “milf” was often used. “Never leave the house without lipstick” she’d say, as she’d whip it out her pocket, in the car before driving me to school at 8 am. 

She was a hairdresser, so looking good was kind of part of her job. Which I understand now, as an adult in the same field, but at the time I would often cringe at her vanity, wishing for her to just look her age. In the 90s, at least where I grew up, injectables were definitely more taboo. If anyone got them, they sure didn’t advertise it. Hell, I even remember overhearing the local moms make snarky comments about someone getting a chemical peel. So the anti-aging industry was definitely very “don’t ask, don’t tell” back then.

Though in my house, the credit card statement would always speak. As my dad would get disgruntled over my mom always purchasing her “lotions and potions” as he would say- referring to her skincare. To be fair, she definitely wasn’t getting the cheap stuff but again, as an adult now I understand her so much more. Now I look back fondly on my hot mom, even if I didn’t love it at the time. I’ve come to love the way she took care of herself, as I think it’s actually admirable to take pride and time in the way you look. This is what we present to the world, whether we want it that way or not, it’s just the reality. In my opinion, it often is way less surface level than we think.

Now that I am 35, I have kind of been waiting for some big “ah ha” moment, or day I would just wake up and feel like a full grown adult. Despite my bills and responsibilities, that day hasn’t come… and don’t get me wrong, I have definitely matured in many ways but I wouldn’t say I “feel” all that different, and then it dawned on me: I think this is a big part of why we don’t like aging. Think about it, if you don’t feel old, why would you want to look old? This realization made me understand my mother so much more, and made me have a more healthy relationship with my aging process, what I consider to be vain, and my skincare. 

Let’s talk about what I mean by a healthy relationship with aging, vanity, and skincare. In my opinion, it all goes back to the true meaning of aging gracefully, looking how you feel, and realistic expectations. I believe chasing something unattainable is when things can start getting unhealthy which often leads to unnatural outcomes and a poor self-image. For instance, microneedling and retinol are amazing and yield great results, but they won’t shave two decades off. It’s also important to understand that multiple modalities are often needed for best results. Botox and filler can give stunning results, but you need to also invest in things that support your skin quality.

**I’m going to interrupt this nice blog for a quick rant, but I can’t stand aestheticians that boast about their clients not getting botox or filler. Yeah, and? Do you want a cookie? Or do you just want to alienate the clients that do get injectables? Because that’s what you’re doing! The fact that there is still any arrogance or shame surrounding injectables when you are a provider (in essentially the same industry)  is astounding to me. I especially can’t stand the “natural” vs unnatural because guess what most of our skincare is not natural, chemical peels are not natural, and water is a chemical compound if ya wanna get technical. Plus, when it comes to injectables there are some things out right now that are changing the skin quality game these days. Skinvive for instance, is injected into the cheeks, not for volume but to make your skin more hydrated and glowy. And guess what? It’s hyaluronic acid. So let’s just get off this BS “I Don’t Do Injectables” pedestal. You look like an asshole.

While of course, we all have different images of beauty and possibly varying ideals of integrity, but if you follow your gut, listen to your trusted provider, and stick to what makes you feel good, it will ultimately lead you down a healthy path. Whether you are into procedures, basic facials, injectables or what have you, don’t get swayed by some provider’s ego and agenda. Be an advocate for yourself, do your research, and do what suits your lifestyle and comfort. “Aging gracefully” to me, doesn’t mean doing one thing or another. To me, aging gracefully is essentially aging on your own terms. Remember, your skincare, and your image, should make you feel confident. Confidence is so important because it’s transferrable, meaning your confidence will typically have a positive impact in other areas of your life, trickling into your work and your relationships. Who doesn’t love that? 

Being confident while also embracing the skin you’re in, can take time for some of us. Making peace with the fact that you will get older, and recognizing that as a privilege can really help your perspective on aging and your approach to skincare. Tasteful injectables, modest procedures, monthly facials, and quality skincare are great ways to keep your skin healthy and youthful. But remember, none of these are quick fixes, getting ahead of aging is often the best policy, as is taking advantage of how all of these things work beautifully together.

It’s funny actually, I was just showing someone a patient’s before and after and her first response was “she looks so much happier” and honestly, that’s always my favorite part. It’s so nice to see stunning results, but to see a visible change in body language and demeanor is so much more gratifying. I love giving you your dream skin, but helping you feel more confident, that’s the icing on the cake. That- that’s a privilege. That is truly what this is all about.